The Breastfeeding Nazis are at it again....

Picture this: You are walking through Applebees's parking lot, looking forward to some food and fun with your family or friends. There are 20 women sitting outside heckling the customers while breastfeeding their babies and as you attempt to enter the resturant, they remind everyone that they are picketing the resturant because one of the managers asked a nursing mother to 'cover up with a blanket while breastfeeding, please, as other people found it embarrassing'.

Now, I am a Mom. I did breastfeed for a week or so, but - much to the home nurse the military provided me chargin - decided to stop. I was told that I was depriving Eddie of much needed supplements for fighting infections and growing tall and strong; I was told that if "I just did it right" that "it would be easier" and I "would preferr breastfeeding to anything else". Eddie is now 8 years old, over 5 feet tall and healthy as a horse, strong as an ox and seems to be doing just fine, being that the horrible and decrepid mother I am denying him of his God-Given-Right-To-Breastmilk.

But I digress.

I have had some experiance with the Breastfeeding Nazis. I have walked through stores, been on beaches, movie theaters, and various other public places where I have had to advert my eyes to some chick who is proudly displaying her ta-ta shoved in her rugrats mouth for God, Country and Corps to see. One word: EEEWWW. If you want to play human cow, do it out of my line of sight.

Consider yourself put on notice showing your privates in public is considered leud behavior. I know, I am going to hear "it perfectly natural" and "it is not perverse behavior to feed your child".

Sex is perfectly natural too, however the law states that public desplay of sexual intercourse is deemed inappropriate. Your child having a b.m. or urinating in a diaper is also natural, however we would appreciate it if you would change them IN THE BATHROOM.

If you plan correctly, you can use a breast pump and feed your child no matter if you are dining at Applebee's or the White House. You are a mother, planning ahead shouldn't be a problem, as I am sure you are carrying a diaper bag, right? See, you are already headed in the right direction: preparing for your child's needs while away from the house. Imagine that!

Look, bond with your child, be proud to be a breastfeeding mom, Americans have no problem with that. You do have choices: either stay at home to "spontaneously" feed your rugrat or pump and plan ahead so the rest of America can go about their business without being flashed your child sucking on your breast.

In short: NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR TA-TAs as an appitizer. If you can't plan ahead for your child's needs either COVER IT UP or STAY AT HOME.